Aug 222014

Known Black Man Barack Obama is still masquerading around as president (he basically just did Bush’s “Now watch this drive” shtick) and yet still Some People Say™ that racism is not dead in this country. How can this be?

  • We elected him.
  • He is black.
  • He once said something about the fact that if he had a son he would also be black, too.

What else is there for the leader of the most powerful nation to do? Oh, something, you greedy47-percenters, say? He could do something? Well, perhaps in theory that is correct. But this B. Barry Bamz is a smooth operator and would like to just get in office, then get in again, and then get out with no issues, thank you very much. His memoirs will be entitled I Was Never Here: The Phantom President.

And then there’s this:

The president of the United States has awesome powers and responsibilities. But being a superhero is not one of them. But you wouldn’t know that by listening to those demanding that President Obama do all sorts of questionable things in response to the tumult over the police killing of Michael Brown. They want Obama to act out in some visceral way. They want more emotion from him on the horrible actions in and images coming out of Ferguson, Missouri. They just want him to do something. All the while completely ignoring what he’s actually doing, what he actually can do and what he is actually capable of doing…

After six years in office, we know the president is incapable of delivering the rage so many people seem desperate to see from him.

Doesn’t he want anything to change? I thought he did; I recall hearing something about change. But then this thing called the Right Wing Media came – from out of nowhere! – and swept him off his feet, I guess. He’s been trying to win its love ever since, even though all they ever give him is a metaphorical punch in the face. “Oh well, I guess I’ll try again tomorrow,” he says, glumly his dozen roses drooping in the sad, sad D.C. moonlight.

Pull your shit together, Barry, and be a goddamn leader on something – especially on this. Why?

  • We elected you.
  • You are black.
  • The black community needs you.

Fuck the Right Wing Echochamber and take a strong stance on something. Say this shit is, first of all, real, and also unacceptable. Fuck everyone else – you are the goddamn Prezident! Tell us what is wrong with our country and how you intend to fix it. Every time I hear a politically-calculated statement about race come out of your mouth, I die a little.

[ Crooks & Liars / Washington Post ]

Sep 202013

Known black man Barack Obama is fanning the flames of racial tension again.

What did he do this time, you ask? See, remember that Neighborhood Thug, Trayvon Martin, who was shot and killed for reasons involving freedom that we cannot possibly understand but definitely don’t have anything to do with race? Well, when that happened, ol’ Barry came out and was all, “Hey, that kid could have been my kid, and maybe America should not shoot so many unarmed black kids.”

It came out of nowhere. No really – it literally was unprecedented, because in 5 years of presidenting, Obummer has managed to basically say zero about his alleged blackness and to do even less than that for actual black people in America.

So the right wing was all, “How dare you bring race and guns into this thing that clearly does not involve race and guns?” The butthurt was palpable.

Fast forward to last Monday, when a big scary black man shot up a bunch of people in the Washington Navy Yard. Another tragedy, another black perpetrator (no, Trayvon was not the perpetrator, but that was really confusing because he is dead and could not speak at his own murder trial, so we just had to go with whatever Fox News told us). Will President Obama claim this one as his own also, too??

Aaron and Trayvon, Obama's lost sons

Wait – HUH? Is that logic airtight? Eh, sure. Seems legit. Dave Weigel has a bunch more like this if you are interested in seeing more derpy-doo. Cenk Uygur breaks down why perhaps comparing unarmed teenagers to homicidal maniacs does not make much sense:

[ Slate / The Young Turks ]

Sep 042013

I am a white person. But I’m not one of those – you know – like, a white white person? My friends often pay me the compliment of telling me that I am not “really white,” and I am quite proud of my not-really-white whiteness.

Especially because I have just read the story that has finally put me over the edge. I’ve decided that I have put up with my association with “these people” for too long, since I read this story in Jezebel about a yoga studio in Santa Barbara which

recently held a “Ghetto Fabulous” yoga class. In preparation, students were instructed to wear cornrows, snapback caps and heavy lipliner along with their lululemon leggings. Who knew gang signs could be so cute?! The invite promised to provide “various costumes” — there was a do-rag giveaway, attendees said — and “guaranteed belly laughs.”

The thing about going over the edge is that you don’t really know you’re even there until you’ve gone over. Could have been this story that did it. Or this story. But it just happened to be this one.

Look, I realize that I am always going to be white – there’s nothing that can be done about this. But from now on, all of you terrible white people living in rich, insular, void-of-any-hint-of-self-awareness, über-white communities – I denounce you. We may share the same vaguely-European, over-privileged, oppressive history, but pigmentation is the only thing that we have in common now.


Jul 062013

Your Goddamn Libertine would like to take some time out of her slut pill-popping day to inform all ye sinners about this wonderful and not-at-all batshit insane opportunity.

Lindsey Graham’s ambiguously-gendered life partner, Pastor Jay Dennis from Somewhere In Florida (probably), has an exciting new campaign called “One Million Men” (no dummy, not that Million Men, what actually mattered), which aims to get some number (?) of people men to hang up their dirty spank rags for good! For Jesus (or something).

Pastor Dennis, who has written several books on Christian teachings, says he was first exposed to pornography at age 11 but has never had to struggle with avoiding it. He does remember working on a chapter in one of his books about pornography one night in 2000, when someone dropped a dirty magazine at his doorstep, he said. He has no idea who did it or why.

“Now I’m left wondering, how do I dispose of this?” he said. “If we put it in our trash and the trash man finds it, he’s going to think I’m looking at it.”

Eventually Dennis and his wife ripped the magazine to pieces and drove it to the dump, he said. Now he wants to do more. Nearly 2,000 men in his congregation of 9,000 have pledged never to look at pornography again.

This is so completely fucked! totally normal, totally healthy behavior. I encourage all of you to start dumping your smut on his doorstep tout suite!

Mediaite put together this sweet compilation of this guy’s videos for your enjoyment shame.

[Daily Beast / One Million Men Porn Free / Mediaite]

Jul 052013

What does this even - oh, fuck itThis is a guest post by Rachel B., a real-life Southerner, now living in our nation’s capitol. It is in response to this Alternet piece, entitled “Is the South Dragging the Rest of the Nation Down?”

When I first moved to Washington, DC, more than seven years ago, I noticed many people put on a fake smile after I told them I’d come from Texas. It wasn’t until a few months in that it came out that I was liberal, and suddenly the ice melted. That was the first time I realized that the open-minded North could be as closed-minded to Southerners as the folks back home were to Yankees.

I’ve visited many Southern and Western states through my jobs, and there seems to be one universal truth: everyone seems to think of themselves as “the true America” – the Eastern founding states, with rich colonial history and modern economic centers; the South with its former glory days as an economic powerhouse and the current seat of god-fearing patriotism; and the West, the ongoing evidence of Manifest Destiny and the entertainment and tech industry headquarters.

When I visit these places away from the East Coast, I find people distrustful of me until I drop in some “y’alls” and mention I’m from a small town in Texas. Something I didn’t intend to happen – a mixed perspective from growing up in small, all-white, proudly conservative Christian town, and then living as an adult in a large and incredibly important international city – has actually become one of my greatest strengths in my career: the ability to adapt and relate to different viewpoints. I don’t always agree with those viewpoints, but I generally know why they think they’re right, and I’m able to seem relatable enough to get work done.

I was lucky to have parents – and grandparents – who were Democrats and raised me to believe that being Christian meant really loving everyone, and allowing them to live their lives. And yet, I was also surrounded with religious beliefs that didn’t mix well with our politics: I went to college firmly believing that while we should accept gay people, they were sinning and should be prayed for; that the Civil War was about states’ rights, not slavery; and that sexuality was wrong except in the confines of a marriage.

Some older, yet progressive, relatives were known to use Paula Deen’s favorite word, and some who lived near the Mexican border had an intense distrust of Mexicans. The author says of Confederate soldiers and sympathizers: “This enabled them to stand above the mudsill of black slavery and prevented them from sinking into the morass of inequality, as did wage workers and poor men in the North.” This is quite similar to why the immigration debate is so very heated in the border states. To suggest that immigrants should be given rights – to be protected under the law – is to associate oneself with them. Poor whites feel better having someone who seems more downtrodden than themselves; we can’t have the immigrants raised up to an equal socioeconomic level. This has been true throughout history; I fear there will always be a downtrodden, yearning mass.

I was fortunate to be able to travel the world, meet people from different perspectives and races, and spend four years in college learning critical thinking skills and world history (much of which pointed out how much of religion and politics depended on one other for power) – and still considered myself a traditional Christian and a proud Southerner. I had expanded my viewpoints on many of the social issues, but I still hadn’t shaken the antiquated parts of the value and belief system that was hammered into me every Sunday, with prayers before school events and football games, with neighbors flying Confederate flags, and with all the things that had surrounded me for the better part of my first two decades.

All this is to say that while I, too, shake my head at the things I hear many (but importantly, not all) Christian Southern whites say, that I hear Republican elected officials proclaim with unfortunate regularity, I have seen myself how hard it is to escape a mentality when you are both immersed in it and a victim of those under-funded public schools. And what if I had grown up in more conservative household, and hadn’t had the opportunities to travel? Had wanted – or had no choice to – stay close to home rather than move away? It would be even harder to mentally break away.

Of course, that doesn’t make any of it okay. I don’t feel bad for the plantation owners who had a hard time understanding that they couldn’t own their slaves anymore. But I think that there is great danger in grouping 35% of the United States population (those in the former Confederate states) into one big bucket. It assumes that there are no dissenters, no people who would be horribly impacted by a return to the white extremist Christian South of the past. Liberals spend a fair amount of time worrying about victims of government abuse in foreign countries; it seems the least we could do is to want to keep the Southern United States with us to protect the gays, blacks, Muslims, immigrants, atheists, and other marginalized groups in these areas. Perhaps some of them don’t want protecting; but that’s never stopped a good liberal from protesting before.

It also assumes that there are no racists, extreme conservatives, or otherwise unsavory folks in the North. One only has to go off the main highways in Pennsylvania to see Confederate flags waving proudly in the wind, with no less gusto than those in Alabama or Louisiana. I’ve heard some incredibly offensive comments and ideas from people who live in New England, about as far North as you can get.

Another problem with this scenario is – what of the West? Do we define the South as the states that fought for the Confederacy 150 years ago? Is it any state that went red in the last election? There are some Republican-leaning states that still have progressive policies; Republican doesn’t have to mean innately religious (although it unfortunately usually does, these days). Do we split up California, so the liberal coast becomes part of North USA, and the conservative interior goes to the South? Would Northern Virginia, Austin, Denver, and other spots of blue in a red landscape fall to the same divisive fate?

I also find my Texas pride and my hope for a more progressive society, no matter where you live, renewed from stories like a state representative standing for eleven hours to defend countless women who have asked for no more than control over their own bodies. Even more, I am inspired by the thousands of men and women who stood, and continue to stand, with her. Stories like this emerge occasionally from small and not-so-small corners of the nation – like a break in the clouds on a stormy day, giving a glimmer of hope that these are just growing pains and not a permanent slide backwards.

As for the cultural implications – while I will always love my home state and have an affinity for the South, despite all its flaws – that’s overrated. The primary irony in this is that rock and roll, jazz, blues, and much of Southern cooking was heavily influenced – if not originated – by slave descendants. Plus, it didn’t just originate in Memphis or New Orleans – Chicago, New York, Detroit, and Buffalo all were host to a variety (dare I say mixing pot?) of cultures that helped grow and refine the musical and culinary offerings of the United States. Many of the most famous Southern writers traveled and moved often, and some were even (gasp) gay – a part Southern Christian conservatives would probably gloss over when touting the great artists of the South. What these authors were good at, if not being a “true,” acceptable Southerner, was documenting the plight of the Southern man it in a way that resounded with people. There is indeed a unique culture and heritage in the South; but it is intrinsically tied to the development of our nation. We grew up together.

The article states that the US is like a “bad marriage that needs to end in order to save the children.” It seems to me like we’re more like arguing parents who are forgetting about the children in our desire to just give up on a difficult marriage that will require much work to make it work once again.

[Alternet / Photo via Imgur]

Jul 052013
Your Goddamn Liberal, Terrorizing DC at the Restore the Fourth Rally

My headless husband and I at the Restore the 4th Rally yesterday. [Photo via Blink Ofanaye on Flickr]

We Are Terrorists

 Posted by on 22 Jun 2013  War: What Is It Good For?
Jun 222013
We Are Terrorists

Why is this even a controversial statement? Quiz time! Who are we at war with? Afghanistan? Not really. The Taliban? Sort of. Is that who we officially declared war on though? No, dummies, that was Terror, remember? Oh also, no official declaration, as you know. Perhaps this seems to some a tired, old topic that [...]

Mar 242013
Fox News Enemy #1 in the War on Easter: Pagan Egg Hunts

Useful idiots. They’re everywhere, amirite? Especially in a nation with a gazillion Christians. Some portion of these Christians are fully deranged, and some even smaller portion of those deranged Christians manage to have successful careers in academia. (Murika!) Like this lady, here, Professor Carol Swain from Vanderbilt University, who has reached the Mecca of insane [...]

Mar 212013
David Barton Whitesplains Why 'We Had to Destroy Indian Tribes' Until They Became Civilized

There must be something in the Internet Water, because ever since CPAC, the surge of batshit conservative vomit pouring out has been impossible to control. Case in point: fake historian David Barton would like to explain some things about the people that the Europeans had to genocide to steal this Shining City on a Hill [...]

Mar 182013
Ralph Reed Makes 'The Case Against Same-Sex Marriage', Falls Into Vortex of Circular Logic

Washed-up grifter Ralph Reed has been popping up, oh, once a year or so, to remind us that he is still not in jail and has some things he would like to say at you. This time it is about teh gayz. Take it away, Right Wing Watch: Reed proceeded to cite some unnamed CEO [...]