- G.O.P. Heartthrob Rick Perry
Hooray for freedom! This is the week that we all take some time to glue ourselves to the teevee and watch the frightening G.O.P. Sexxx Party unfold a little each night - for freedom, of course.
Now that all of the Republican presidential contenders have finished humping Jim DeMint’s leg, they will now proceed to hump the rest of South Carolina’s leg this week. If they can tear themselves away from this grotesque display for a moment, it will only be to comment on how Obama’s jobs plan is terrible…we don’t need to know what it is to know that it will ruin America.
Tomorrow we will get to see seven unlucky people debate America’s Hope Rick Perry. One can only hope that they touch on the same subjects as the weird South Carolina forum did: abortion, gay marriage…all of those job-creating standards.
On Wednesday Thursday, Obama will pretend to be a Democrat and probably suggest something like job-sharing and infrastructure investment – ideas that are, quite frankly, right out of the socialist handbook. The eight wonders of the G.O.P. will gnash their teeth at these Communist proposals and then Obama will, of course, try to do Whatever It Takes to get them to make out with him - which they will never, ever do – but by golly he will keep trying. What we will end up with is tax cuts, tax cuts and tax cuts for the rich – hear me now and believe me later.
Meanwhile, in Washington, the Super Committee will have its first orgy meeting, so we can all gather ’round and watch this wonderful, “diverse” group of legislators hammer out a plan to cut $1.2 trillion from the deficit over the next decade through a three-pronged approach of cuts, cuts, cuts.
On a more serious note, all week we will be “remembering” 9/11, mostly the way that the teevee people would like us to remember it. Don’t count on anyone talking about anything besides 9/11 on the politi-shows – and if they do, they should be reported to the Department of Homeland Security immediately, for suspicious behavior. Mike Huckabee can’t be the only one to capitalize on this terrible tragedy; the networks deserve a chance too.