May 192012
 

SAT Question: The Holocaust is to Hitler as abortion is to ???

That is the question this movie, distributed to students of Wagoner High School in Wagoner, Oklahoma, seeks to answer.

Of course, it stars Ray Comfort, of banana-loving fame. It is called “180″ – presumably, because when you watch it your stance on abortion will make a 180-degree turn. Get it? The second half of this 33-minute waste of time is spent trolling the streets, in search of credulous youngsters to convert. First he flips their weakly-held (if at all?) abortion views and then even throws in some good ol’ fashioned Jesus-sellin’ for good measure!

Eh, I've seen hotter.

Who gives a shit, right? Well, obviously, some parents in Wagoner, Oklahoma, for starters. I mean, this is clearly wrong, right? I don’t think we even have to get into it.

The real question is, now that I’ve changed my beliefs, Ray Comfort, what can I do next? You know, to surround myself in a bubble of people who think just like me, thereby reinforcing my new-found, baseless beliefs?

Not to worry: 180 the movie is about to become 180 the anti-choice conference! And just in time for election season!

Not only will this epic event host speakers like Pam Tebow – famous for spawning some kid that throws a ball for a living and loves the limelight – and general What Not to Do with Your Life posterchildren Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, but it will also be graced with the presence of Mr Comfort himself! Neat-o! Ray’s talk is called “Engaging the Culture” and here is the description of its contents, verbatim from the website:

There are a number theories as to why Adolf Hitler killed six million Jews. Perhaps he was jealous of their ability to make money. Maybe a Jewish prostitute gave him syphilis, or possibly he was bitter because his paintings were rejected by a mainly Jewish panel at a Vienna art school. But none of those make sense. It’s reasonable that such a person could kill a Jew, or a possibly a family of six, or perhaps a busload of sixty Jews. But to kill six thousand is way out of proportion, and sixty thousand is ridiculous. Hitler killed six million. There must have been an incendiary incentive (besides his implementation of Darwinian Evolution). Ray will reveal what he believes that incentive was, how it relates to the abortion industry in contemporary America‚Ķand most importantly, what we can do about it.

I know when my paintings were rejected by a Jewish syphilitic prostitute, I must have killed – I don’t know – at least a busload of sixty Jews. This seemed like a reasonable amount of Jews to me.

I love that Hitler somehow “implemented” Darwinian Evolution. If a finch develops a long beak over millions of years due to natural selection, that’s evolution. If I just stomp on every single short-beaked finch in the area, then I suppose I have “implemented” evolution – with millions of years to spare! Oh, Darwin, Hitler, abortionists…it’s hard to tell them all apart.

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